Match, set, go… easier said than done. Here we list tips on ways to understand your partner better
They say marriages are made in heaven. But then, there are also those made here on earth. Though an arranged marriage may feel like a pre-historic concept, such matches are still prevalent in society. Whether you marry someone you’ve fallen in love with, or someone your parents have chosen, as a couple you are bound to go through some ups and downs. It’s just that if it’s an arranged marriage, it may take you a tad longer to understand the thought process of your partner. If you are about to enter into an arranged marriage, here are some pointers you need to keep in mind:
Pre-marital jitters
Pre-marital jitters are very common among couples who opt for an arranged marriage. And if you’re experiencing them, ask yourself what is causing the anxiety. Among the most prominent reasons is the fear of sharing space and adjusting to a relatively unknown partner. Then, of course, is the fear of how to deal with a new family; how much you’d have to change your behaviour to adapt to their thoughts and habits.
The best way to overcome this problem is by interacting frequently with your partner. It will put you at ease with your partner and also improve the intimacy between the two of you.
Never complain
An arranged marriage means more responsibilities and expectations. Both partners are under pressure to make the marriage work. Your partner may not share all your likes and dislikes and his/her family may not follow the same values as yours. You may be constantly corrected about the way things are done in this house. Relax!
Adjustment is the name of the game. Have a frank talk with your partner, list out your anxieties and figure out a way to do things without antagonising your new family. In the initial days of your marriage, don’t take rude remarks or the seemingly harsh moves of your partner too seriously. Also, don’t adopt the tit for tat philosophy. Stay away from troublemakers and look for allies. Also, don’t complain or sound whiny to your partner. Remember, he/she is just as confused and nervous as you are.
The magic of love
Love is that essential ingredient that can help both of you overcome hurdles. If love at first sight hasn’t happened, don’t worry. It may take time, but you will grow to love each other. Even if you’re in love already, don’t expect your partner to immediately reciprocate the feelings. Give him/her time and work on how you can earn his/her love. Be patient and don’t get frustrated every time your partner says or does something wrong.
Remember, marriage is like a whirlpool which takes one from a carefree world to a world filled with commitment and sacrifice; a world with love as its backbone.